IVF or Adoption?

Pre-emptive thinking here by far but soon I’ll be starting my second round of Clomid. Then it will most likely be seeing if my tubes even work. If they do it will be IUI (Which I doubt we can afford) and then most likely IVF. That could be what? A year away? Yeah 25 I know…Young and it could happen and relax and it will happen.. Try being in this position and then give advice. I’m not being a pessimist that it won’t work I’m just preparing myself so that if it does happen I know which way to turn without all the drama.

So which to choose. IVF is expensive and barely covered by insurance over here. That would mean saving for a long while, going through a shit load of hormone injections, scans, sciencey stuff basically turning me into one huge petri dish. Even then the chances of it working are not 100%. I don’t know if I could accept that sort of let down.

Then there is adoption. The recommended choice by all people who have no clue what it’s like to be infertile. It’s not a bad choice, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying they need to really think before they speak. Pluses it does work. It gives a home to a child who may not have been wanted. It does however take years of paperwork, being thrown through hoop after hoop trying to prove you’d be a good parent before even being given the chance to show you could be. How much worse could a person be than half the scum who reproduce naturally anyways?

Then there is the third choice. The unspeaken choice. We give up. We accept a life of just the two of us, the waps and the pets. The pets we will lose, like we did poor Flyve the other night (Hammy). I accept that my fate on this planet, my dream, was not to become a mother but instead to live out my life working, living for replacements. Others may not want children and that I understand, they however will not be spending the rest of their lives dreaming of what they could never get.

This isn’t a negative post more myself trying to structure my mind. It’s also a little advice to people who might not get the inner workings of an infertile’s mind.

On a more positive note, Christmas is coming soon and that means good movies on the TV and snow… Well hopefully some snow.

 

Movies like so 😀

Totally off topic

So prepare for some dull stuff. If you’re not into WoW this will bore you incredibly but I wanted to go on about my characters for a post. WoW is a big part of my time during the days and keeps my mind from the worries that build up in my fragile little mind so here goes.

I currently have a total of 6 level 85 characters. All on the same realm, same faction and surprisingly all female. There’s something about playing male characters that I just don’t feel comfortable with. Most of them are gnomes too (which are the best of the races….stop argueing they are!)

Anyways we have my main – This is Alpy – My first ever character in WoW. She’s a mage, mining engineer, chef, and highest dps on any server anywhere in the world. Trust me I’m a wow player 😀

Next we have my tough and mighty tank Whipple-

Look at her taming that big crocodile – Amazing isn’t she!

We have the lock (Wabble) and second mage (Kærlighed) (Yes I like mages – levelled 6 so far so expert mage here – except frost…nobody plays that pvp shit)

I apologise for the cropping but I’m not a Photoshop person at all. I best introduce Phuughun as well (He doesn’t like being left out)

And finally with my hunter (Shinjoo) Named after a character from a slightly graphic japanese dating sim.

The names of the pets are all really chosen by the waps – Jupiter was only caught today and was really called Oomowmow but it sort of didn’t fit him. He’s probably the only one with a proper name. There is all GrrGrr the Devidevisaur, Woofymcbark the police dog and Webby the spider but they’re all currently AFK.

I also sort of wanted to gloat with this post about my recent tame of Jupiter ( one of the rarer of the pets) so muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

The waps and what waps love

I’m currently being held against my will by some cute and adorable dragons. The 3 of them, though inanimate, are a big part of me and Kim’s life. They travel pretty much everywhere with us and at times are more alive than half the dumb fucks I meet.

During our trip to Denmark we left them on the train by accident. It was one of the most stressful times ever!!! Luckily they turned up but still. Some people will think we’re mad with this but it’s that little bit of innocence we both have left. People should never give up what makes them happy whether it’s that cup of coffee first thing, a glass of wine while in a bubble bath or even a cuddly toy. If it makes a day that little bit easier than keep it close and protect it.

Since leaving work I’ve been enjoying those little things. Yesterday I went for a long walk and enjoyed the sunshine. To a lot of people it was like “¬¬ Wow, Go you….walking” but to me it was awesome to just be outside and not have a time constraint. To not be pressured by anyone or anything. It was bliss, well and truly.

Now I’m not a religious person. I don’t trust a lot of what religion says but at the same time I’m not going to place myself with atheists as I think everyone needs to be more open-minded. I’m not starting an open debate just saying where I stand. Basically I believe that everything happens for a reason, good things happen to good people and justice comes to those who deserve it. I don’t know if it’s some sort of “God” or “Destiny” but I do think there is something. This something you can say I have faith in I guess. Well the last few weeks it has sort of been drifting away from me but yesterday being outside it came back. Feeling that free again was worth the worries of leaving. I know that whatever hardships I go through will come to an end and I’ll be better for them afterwards. All the bad will eventually lead to a good, it’s just a matter of time and determination.

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”  – John Keating (Dead poet’s society)

I see life-like the above. People say at times that I’m not the most knowledgeable. That’s a fact. I’m terrible at geography, languages are confusing as hell and ask me anything about American history and I will most likely tell you that independence day was the best movie ever made. But I make up for this in other ways. I like the beauty of life ,the colours of everything, the sounds of the world being alive around me. I guess with this entry I’m trying to remind every one of the little things out there. People spend so much time watching the big things that they miss the little things that really matter. People should start to live again.

Neffy, Cyan and Onyxia (making life that little bit sweeter)