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All posts for the month January, 2015

Judgemental mothers

Published January 27, 2015 by reachandflexibility

Today I left my birth group. 300 women some of whom I’m now friends with, left simply because I’d had enough and wanted to go alone. It seems rule one to becoming a “good” mother is to judge the parenting of every other mother in terms of “what is best with these weeks fads”,”safety guidelines from this decade and country” and “loving your child the most”. If you don’t fit under this category then you’re more likely to be like myself worrying if you fit the expectations of these perfect mothers.
Today’s reason for leaving was a girl mentioning that she was pissed off her child wouldn’t sleep and a picture of him looking like he’d fallen between the bed and his travel cot. Not the best picture to see if there was any actual danger and a poor choice of words from herself but rather than people trying to figure out the situation the comments started flying instantly about how she was a bad mother putting her baby at risk, and how dare she be pissed off at a 7month old blah blah blah…this girl has enough on her plate and had been up numerous nights in a row. She wanted support and instead got slammed down by the perfect parents.
It’s crap, these women go on about how they are there to support each other and yet in typical female fashion it turns into high school bitching. It’s not something I need in my life. I’m tired of feeling the need to justify myself for not breastfeeding, for not following each guideline to the word simply because that is this weeks safety lesson. I’m tired of being looked down on because I don’t want to co sleep or wear my child every day. I’m sick of feeling like my child is slow because they’re not sucking on a piece of toast the moment they hit 6 months. Parents are meant to act like parents, not like the children they are raising.
This has been a long building rant simply because I know I’m not the best mother in the world. I pre prepare bottles and store them in the fridge, I let her cry, rather than cuddling her if she even so much as whines. I let her watch tv *gasp* and not just babyTV but actual movies like die hard and lethal weapon. Is she happy? Yes. Is she like any normal 8 month old? Yes. Has she gotten sick at all? No. Is she fed, clean, loved? Yes.
Get off your high horses and raise your own children. Not mine.

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Still going strong

Published January 8, 2015 by reachandflexibility

Beth is currently napping upstairs after a disaster of a start to the day. She decided 3,50 would be the time to get up and I don’t deal with not sleeping. I’ve not updated in a while despite meaning to. We’re still waiting on paperwork, I’m enjoying Danish food a little too much for my waistband to enjoy and Kim’s job has been made permanent.

So to update. It’s been a tough Christmas here. Kim worked 12 days straight and it was exhausting for him. Tiring for me too but that’s because I just need 23 hours of sleep to get by it seems. Like seriously my whole immune system was destroyed. Cold sore after cold sore for like a month. I’m ill with a cold right now. It sucks. Anyways we ordered all our food for the week online. That arrived a day late with only a fraction of what we ordered. Luckily it included the Christmas dinner but that was pretty much it. It rained all week and that caused the electrics to play up as well. It wasn’t much of a Christmas, we didn’t even have a tree, but it was nice to spend some time with Kim after so long of him working. Beth got lots of gifts most of which she won’t touch as they make noise and she just starts to cry when they come near her. No idea what causes it. She won’t even let me have music playing on the iPad. She’s an odd child.

We’re growing closer. I’ve started using a wrap for walks and it’s helping us both. Well helping me mainly. I get to have my arms free and I sort of feel more bonded with her. It’s made things a little better for me mentally anyways. Things are still up and down in my head at the moment. Mostly up. We have blips but that’s normally if I’m tired or it’s been a very long week. If Beth gets out of her routine then it throws me off completely and I know it will end in a day of her screaming and me crying. It’s tough sometimes but luckily that’s not happening as often as it used to.

I’m still enjoying living in Denmark. Our house is perfect even if it does still need sort of moving into. Furniture is being bought slowly but surely and its just a matter of time before it becomes more of a home to us all. I love waking up to see how the day looks out. It’s pretty grey recently but every now and again you get a clear skies morning and it makes everything that little easier. We even had snow just after boxing day. I took Beth out to see it and pup got to explore the whole new world that had landed. I look forward to it when she’s older and we can build a snowman outside the front for the hunt master to get angry about. Yeah, life is ok at the moment. It’s peaceful.

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Home sweet home