So hello peeps. It’s the start of another week off and Kim actually has time off as well so we’re going to be painting Beth’s room and just trying to relax for once. There is 100 days of my pregnancy left and I’m counting down every moment of them. As of this moment this isn’t something I’d want to go through again. I’m still sickly each morning, I’ve got ongoing heartburn and reflux to the point where I’m drinking Gaviscon from the bottle and only in the last week have I started sleeping better. I’m still exhausted of course though. Add to that the stresses of college and the knowledge that I have my exams coming up I’m a little easy rattled. I’ll be 35 weeks when I’m doing them, This includes an hour dog grooming skills assessment which I’m having so much trouble getting to grips with already. It’s tricky with 5 people working on a dog and most of them already having experience. I’m learning very little.
On good notes though 100 days is a countdown point I can track. I’m enjoying buying bits of the baby items like the expressing stuff and little clothes. Just worries me financially of course. I’m really trying to avoid stress at this point, I know it’s not going to do me or Beth any good at all.
I’m worrying about my GTT still which I haven’t yet booked. I’ve felt pretty abandoned with the nurses and hospital over here in Ireland and feel any concern I have gets brushed off as crazy first time parent. Maybe they’re right but I feel I’m getting ignored. The morning sickness makes fasting impossible. I’m up at 6.30 each day to get food inside me before retreating back to bed or I just become a mess. Not to mention my terrible veins which I’ve brought up in previous blogs. This is going to make a 3 hour blood test a miracle to get through. If I’m sick they need to re book it. I’ve tried asking about alternatives like glucose strip testing at home, doing the 1 hour non fasting test or even eating something protein based before the test rather than anything that would increase sugar levels. All options were met with a “hmm, you’re just going to have to suck it up and do it”… I asked about medication for the nausea and got a nope. I’m not even allowed water or my gaviscon for 12 hours before the test which will equal acid reflux nausea, dehydration and morning sickness all in one package. The test so far is really looking to me like it’s not going to go ahead at all. I keep seeing the risks of gestational diabetes and get this feeling that I’m almost being emotionally blackmailed into doing a test that might be unnecessary if they would just do a 1 hour test instead. But can I question them or at least voice my concerns? They don’t have time for it. Not to mention I have to visit the hospital for this appointment and yet see my local nurse for my 28 week check up. They can’t do them both together which would be the logical option. Is my main worry the blood test in itself? not at all, that would make some sense. The problem is I’m an emetaphobe. I’m terrified of being sick, of people being sick around me. If someone even mentions they feel sick I go into anxiety mode straight away. The biggest part of this pregnancy has been for me trying to avoid being sick and trying to avoid getting ill. I’m a label freak on foods, I check everything I eat and I hate places where sick people will be. The less time I’m in the hospital the better. Now this is all an illogical phobia that I’ve had for many many years and a lot of people don’t understand it. You’d think I’d be able to get over it for a simple test that could prevent alot of pregnancy related problems but I really can’t. Since I heard of the blood test needing to be done it’s been a major worry on my mind and no medical professional will acknowledge it. I honestly don’t know what to do with it at this stage.
Apart from all this time has been going by quite quickly. We’re already nearing March when yesterday seems to have been Christmas and June is just around the corner. I’ll finally get to see my family again who I’ve missed so much the last few months. Really do wish I was back home in the UK at times.
On a lighter note I’m totally hyped for the new series of Hannibal later tonight. I’ve watched all the first series, gained an unhealthy obsession with Mads Mikkelsen and have been counting the days until the next episode would be aired. Seriously he is a better Hannibal Lector than Anthony Hopkins. Below basically sums up the entire show.