All posts for the month March, 2012

The square root of rope is string.

Published March 31, 2012 by reachandflexibility

Cave Johnson : All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade!
Make life take the lemons back!
Get Mad!
I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons!

So new review. ‘Bout time I did one rather than just QQ’ing about my life. This week has been Portal 2. I don’t have the money for most recent games so will just have to do with the ones I already own :p

Right so Portal 2 is guess what? The sequel to Portal. Basically you are Chell, the mute who wakes up in a cell and has to go through tests to eventually take down the super computer running the place. It’s not the most in-depth plot but the character of Glados (The big evil super computer) keeps you going through it. Now the second one is basically the same plot only it’s a little more in-depth about the company that you are “working” for.  There is also the character of Wheatley who you will grow to love and hate at the same time. He has basically been looking after the place since your victory at the end of the original.

So gameplay – You control a portal gun. You shoot an entrance and an exit and use these to get around the maps in front of you. They’re laid out in such a way that you need to think out where to set these portals in order to progress. It’s very simple so no need to be a hardcore gamer to complete it. At times the puzzles will be extremely frustrating but they are very easy once you know what you’re doing. Even non gamers can pick up this game pretty quickly 🙂

Portal 2 also came with the multiplayer mode. Something which developers love to put in with sequels. Not sure why really but oh well. You’ll find this fun but it can feel like trying to teach a family member to drive at times. You’ll both see different things on the screen and communication between the 2 of you has to be top-notch or you will spend 10 minutes going “shoot the portal at the thing at the top…No the other thing…No, the thing with the orange coming out of it…No…Just shoot where I’m shooting for fucks sake”. Unless you love this other person so much that you’re willing to not mock them for being an idiot I would suggest just playing on the single player. You’re not missing much anyways.

I’ve played through the games a few times now if only for the achievements so it does have the replayability with it, which I found the first one lacked. There is something about the characters with the second one that you don’t get bored with hearing them over and over. (Useful when you die…Like I do…Alot)

Only real con with Portal 2 is it doesn’t really leave it open for a sequel..Which when you finish it you will want one simply because it’s so much fun. That and even after being called fat repeatedly in-game you’ll end up feeling sad for it ending. Maybe I’m just a sucker for characters :p

Glados: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.

Sorry this hasn’t been that in-depth a review. There isn’t much to the game than what is above. It’s simply one that I recommend everyone should try out for themselves. There are barely any problems with it at all, and all the awards it won were well deserved. It’s much easier to criticize a game’s flaws than point out all the good areas of it. Maybe next week I’ll review a terrible game. Like Final Fantasy 12/13….

(By the way. Any pictures you see, I don’t take credit for. I just google for them and if they suit it I simply put them in. Good work to the people who made them)

The waps and what waps love

Published March 27, 2012 by reachandflexibility

I’m currently being held against my will by some cute and adorable dragons. The 3 of them, though inanimate, are a big part of me and Kim’s life. They travel pretty much everywhere with us and at times are more alive than half the dumb fucks I meet.

During our trip to Denmark we left them on the train by accident. It was one of the most stressful times ever!!! Luckily they turned up but still. Some people will think we’re mad with this but it’s that little bit of innocence we both have left. People should never give up what makes them happy whether it’s that cup of coffee first thing, a glass of wine while in a bubble bath or even a cuddly toy. If it makes a day that little bit easier than keep it close and protect it.

Since leaving work I’ve been enjoying those little things. Yesterday I went for a long walk and enjoyed the sunshine. To a lot of people it was like “¬¬ Wow, Go you….walking” but to me it was awesome to just be outside and not have a time constraint. To not be pressured by anyone or anything. It was bliss, well and truly.

Now I’m not a religious person. I don’t trust a lot of what religion says but at the same time I’m not going to place myself with atheists as I think everyone needs to be more open-minded. I’m not starting an open debate just saying where I stand. Basically I believe that everything happens for a reason, good things happen to good people and justice comes to those who deserve it. I don’t know if it’s some sort of “God” or “Destiny” but I do think there is something. This something you can say I have faith in I guess. Well the last few weeks it has sort of been drifting away from me but yesterday being outside it came back. Feeling that free again was worth the worries of leaving. I know that whatever hardships I go through will come to an end and I’ll be better for them afterwards. All the bad will eventually lead to a good, it’s just a matter of time and determination.

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”  – John Keating (Dead poet’s society)

I see life-like the above. People say at times that I’m not the most knowledgeable. That’s a fact. I’m terrible at geography, languages are confusing as hell and ask me anything about American history and I will most likely tell you that independence day was the best movie ever made. But I make up for this in other ways. I like the beauty of life ,the colours of everything, the sounds of the world being alive around me. I guess with this entry I’m trying to remind every one of the little things out there. People spend so much time watching the big things that they miss the little things that really matter. People should start to live again.

Neffy, Cyan and Onyxia (making life that little bit sweeter)

This was a triumph, I’m making a note here……

Published March 21, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So today is my second to last day at my current job. It started with a lot of excitement but seems to be ending with the feeling that I’ve met a hero only to find out they’re drunk and not as awesome as I originally thought. Maybe I’ve grown up…maybe I’ve been let down a few too many times and am feeling bitter. After the last 9 months of not having the motivation, the miscarriage (which to be honest I didn’t handle that well despite it being so early into the pregnancy – and yes I did just say all that out loud. I’m not going to hide in shame about it) and then the  constant struggle to get up each day it got to a point of being too much. Waking up and arguing with Kim was not my idea of enjoying my life. I was feeling trapped in a situation and my options were limited. I was in simplicity becoming very depressed again. In the last 10 years I’ve drifted in and out of it and I know when it is upon me again. It was a dangerous place I was in when I decided once and for all that I was quitting the job.

Now I worry though about finding a new job and finances between me and Kim. I worry about getting on his nerves around the house as I spend my time gaming and blogging in between job hunting of course. I worry about silly things like what people think of me giving up just like that. I really wanted it to carry on like it did when I first started here. I hoped with moving to the new shift it would be like that again. But instead I was let down again and it was too much.

This isn’t really a blog to mope and moan but more one to explain myself to the people I don’t really talk to that well. Well everyone really, getting me to break how I really feel is like trying to get that guy from CSI to remove his glasses. Not for a pun. His real actual glasses. But anyways despite some of the above I’m glad to go. It’s nice not being held hostage to my wage anymore. I feel a sense of freedom from once again not being a customer service lackey. The worrying is combined with a sense of excitement at the unknown world and what will come next. I’m tempted to go back to college and learn some new things or try for a job that isn’t based in an office. We’ll see what the future brings really.

This blog is sort of becoming more personal than it was originally meant to. I guess with it I sort of want to feel less alone if that makes sense. It’s one thing I’m finding with TTC is that it’s difficult to relate to anyone around you. I’m on the forums, I see the posts but I feel I can’t connect with them. You see people come and go from them and you just wait patiently for your turn. You see the woman who are trying meds and such and you can’t relate as you’re not at that stage either. I’m sort of in a limbo just waiting for the months to pass until I know which group I can start to get to know. You’d think having 3 sisters there would be at least 1 who understood how I was feeling.

Me and the sisters as decided by the youngest. I’m the orange haired one (I haven’t a clue what is one my shirt though)

OT Rage

Published March 18, 2012 by reachandflexibility

Now I know I said I wouldn’t bring this all to the blog as it’s the last thing you want to hear about and to be honest it’s not something I feel comfortable being questioned about in person but I need to vent.

Today is mother’s day. Now for the previous 24 years this hasn’t really bothered me. I love my mum but don’t really need a specific day to say that to her. This year though I want to rage. Mostly because of Facebook. Being 25 I have a large circle of friends all with children and today is the day where the constant updates get put up. Grats to them on creating their legacy but it’s really the last thing I want to hear about. (I’ve already closed it before anyone says I don’t have to read it) Maybe I’m being selfish with it, maybe they’re the ones being selfish *shrug* but I can’t get this bitterness and jealousy out of my head. In 2 months time I’ll be in that dr’s room setting up appointments to be poked and prodded to find out what’s wrong with me. Now I know people will say it might not be you and I understand that but deep down I know there is something wrong. Each month when I find myself doubled over in pain, taking the strongest painkillers I can, I know that’s not normal.

I have the strongest respect for some of the women’s blogs I read on here. One woman has been trying 5 years and whilst others might think that’s insane, I personally believe she’s an incredibly strong-willed woman. I know it’s not something I could do no matter how much children of my own mean to me. Yes I know I’m horrible about other people’s spawn. Some of them are vile and I really think there should be an IQ test before breeding is allowed in some communities but it’s still something I would like to do for myself.

Anyways I’ll leave this as it is. Promised Kim that this blog would not become me moaning like this and I don’t want people’s sympathy. I just want to get my opinion across on this matter before I explode at some excited mother to be. Also this is not a dig at people who don’t want children. Kudos to them for making that decision and I stand by them no matter what they next decide to do in life. My problem is not with them.

To each their own…

Published March 17, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So today before my smashing starts as Freya (pathfinder character) I figured the review of ME 1,2 and 3 should be written. I finished the 3rd one last night so here goes.

Mass effect is the story of Commander Shepard and her Normandy crew off to save the galaxy from the overpowered and quite terrifying Reapers. An ancient race of beings who clear the galaxy of life every 50 000 years or so.

So Mass Effect 1


Major Kirrahe “Our influence stopped the Rachni, but before that we held the line!
Our influence stopped the Krogan, but before that, we held the line!
Our influence will stop Saren; in the battle today, we will hold the line!”

I’ll try and sort these reviews in a sort of list view. Keeps it easy on the eyes and stops me ranting…Well hopefully :p

Cons –

Male Shepard’s voice is about as bland as England playing the rugby and whenever he does anything exciting you just think he doesn’t care. He seems to be out experienced with it by everyone in the game, even npc’s.

Planet scanning is a bit clunky. You get this thing called the mako to drive around and it drives badly. Each planet seems to be an overly mountainous (might not even be a word but fuck it) and I sort of wonder what happened to all the plains in the galaxy. Whether they have been destroyed or just been evolved out.

Pros –

Story is awesome, simple yet engaging. You’re put against questions of whether to destroy entire races or keep them alive despite knowing their history of pure destruction. Something which trust me you will find yourself thinking about even if you’re on a one track road to being the most bad ass renegade ever.

Voice acting by female Shepard is one of the best I’ve heard and as mentioned voice acting is perfect. Except by male Shepard. How he can romance the pants of even the sluttiest of asari I’ll never know.

The galaxy is huge and there are lots of areas to explore. With all this you’re looking around 40 hours of gameplay without the DLC (at least this is how long it took me)

Overall –

It’s an amazing game and one I would recommend to anyone. I played on pc so controls were very simple with the WASD and simple clicking to fire. On easy mode combat it’s nothing to worry about. Sound is awesome and you’ll find yourself in love with the soundtrack. Despite the cons of the game you won’t mind at all. They’re minor and defiantly not something you’ll find yourself quitting the game over.

Mass Effect 2

EDI: “I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.”

Cons –

Voice acting by male Shepard is yet to improve. I wonder if it ever will (bear in mind I played female through them so I didn’t have to hear his Keanu Reeves impression style voice acting)

Mako driving has now been replaced by planet scanning – Though I don’t mind this so much personally, it can be quite dull if you’re wanting to just save the galaxy. It also takes away a lot of the planets that were quite relaxing to drive around (When you weren’t needing to go up hill that is)

Levelling skills and gear has been streamlined majorly to make it easier for the combat guys out there. Now we all know they’re 12 years olds who have apparently slept with my mum so they need all the help they can get but this was extreme. Though I don’t mind the combat itself as it was easier to navigate, I felt this took a lot out of the game as your character felt less yours. I barely levelled my character manually and instead just went for the auto level as it made no difference at all.

Where did my 9999999 credits go!!! Money is hard to come by and you need it for your upgrades. Don’t waste money on a million fish and items you won’t wear or you will regret it majorly.

Pros –

I don’t have to drive the mako anymore. Now I know I put this as a con too but I really did not enjoy the mako and the lay out of the planets. They were irritating as hell and after 40 hours the last thing I wanted to do was be killed by a threshermaw just so I could grab that damn node on the map. (A node that make no difference whatsoever to anything in the game)

Characters introduced are still as awesome as they ever were. Voice acting still as amazing as it ever was, even from the AI. and now more romance options so I finally get my Garrus!!!

More choices during cut scenes. Now I’m not one for  having to hit a button during a cut scene to avoid the evil monster trying to smash my brain in (RE4 I’m looking at you) but these were done pretty well. Jumping in and shooting near a guy to get his attention is something that should be an option in any game. I love this. Sometimes they are a pain to catch as you’ve just relaxed to see conversation but they’re defiantly a welcome interruption I feel.

Overall –

A still good game. The combat changes do make it feel a little different to the first but the story still keeps you enthralled. The ending is a non stop ride of excitement and even after multiple playthroughs i still find myself on the edge of my seat hoping to god that everything goes ok. Trust me like Game of Thrones, anyone can die (except Shepard that is – watch the adventures of blonde Shepard on youtube to watch this happen :p)

Mass Effect 3

Illusive Man: “Don’t turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you. I brought you back from the dead.”

Cons –

Now this is where it all starts to go downhill and I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t/hasn’t agreed with me so far. This is all my own feelings from the games and hopefully everyone is entitled to their own opinions on the internet.

Levelling and gear has tried to be padded a little more since the second but not enough to make it actually useful. You’ll find 1 gun you like and will stick with it no matter how ineffective it is. I was a soldier with a sniper rifle for the entire game! Heavy weapons you barely get a look at apart from when you pick them up off corpses and even then they’re limited to use. Levelling skills is just time-consuming and again seems to make no difference at all gameplay wise. Yet again just use the auto level up for effectiveness.

Planet scanning has been replaced with galaxy scanning. You basically fly around the galaxy and at random ping your scanner to hopefully find something. Each ping will alert the reapers of your presence until they chase you out of the area and from then you’ll have trouble getting back in if needed until you complete a mission. I ended up resorting to a guide on this so that it was less random and I could get it done to 100% without destroying any sort of enjoyment in the game for me.

Characters can now not be interacted with around your ship unless it’s some sort of event. Now you just listen to what they have to say without any type of personalization. It’s a real downer for anyone who used to visit their crew members after each mission just to make sure everyone was all ok. Now you may as well not bother.

Knowing whether you will win against the reaper threat is confusing. You need to have a certain readiness in order to win and this is gained by scanning planets and making everyone happy (choosing renegade seems to screw you in places for this…I know, I know, it’s renegade and it should but still. I want to be a badass not all evil of the galaxy) And even then and this is the most irritating point – if you want the good ending (And I say ending with a taint of bitterness in my well… typing) you need to play multiplayer. Now if you’re like me and 1 you have no friends and 2 you suck at playing with the 12-year-old online who as previously mentioned are sleeping with my mum, you will hate this. All endings should be available to all players no matter how they want to complete it. This has bugged me quite a bit and I will angry face at the keyboard for this. I can’t change it so angry face will do for now.

Now onto the ending….Well its a copout. I don’t know if the writers had to go somewhere that day or they had a meeting and realised they’d ran out of budget to make something decent but it’s pants. I suggest playing to the final point where you’re given 3 options what to do and then close the game. Pat yourself on the back and come up with your own ending. Trust me anything you think up will be better than what is shown in front of you. So as not to spoilt it I’ll leave it at that for you.


Romancing is still as good as ever and some lines are even sweeter. My last words with Garrus honestly bought tears to my eyes. (I’m quite an emotional person so maybe it’s just me lol)

Voices are still amazing – I can’t give an update on male Shepard as I’ve not seen him yet but trailers haven’t made me want to watch paint dry so that’s a good start I feel. Lance Henriksen being more present is always a bonus too.

Graphics have had a major update. Now I want to put this in cons as well but I’ll give the game a break at this point. If you’re like me then your character will look nothing like it did originally. There is a bug so you can’t copy old characters so you need to make them again and even then your character will look sort of offish if you copy it over but you’ll get over it as it’s minor. Graphics look good with each character and they look even better for the worlds around you (London is amazing)

Story is still good. It’s lacking in a lot of places but it’s still good. Bringing peace between races is pretty cool when you’re going through it all and the reports you get in about the end of the universe coming give the atmosphere a feeling that can’t just be shaken off. You do feel like you’re fighting towards something and you feel that you actually need to save the galaxy. An epic feeling that is missed by so many games.

Overall –

As many good points as there are with the third I would rather it hadn’t been made. I don’t like how it has tainted such as epic series of games especially with the ending it gave. Maybe they will release a DLC ending (something that god I wont be happy having to pay for). For now, I suggest just playing the first 2. Step into the 3rd but don’t waste that much energy on it. It’s not a bad game but if you want to experience Mass Effect and experience it for all the good reasons just imagine this one doesn’t exist.

Please don’t flame me with abuse on that final note I just felt really let down by it all when finishing it last night after what felt like so much work (there’s not even as much gameplay as the original ones too)

Hopefully my reviews were understandable. These are just for people who can’t stand the reviews online that go into insane depth. ^^

Distractions in the form of illiteracy

Published March 15, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So it seems people may have read my first entry. *waves frantically* Hi everyone!!!

Yes I know I said 3 days for me to play Mass effect 3 but I’m sort of that absent minded and easily distracted I thought what the hell, lets annoy the Internet again.

Vincent Brooks – “Fucking blocks… I’m gonna climb the shit outta you!”

Now the game Catherine I figured I’d start with. The line above is one I actually found myself uttering on numerous occasions. Usually after falling to my death for the 46th time or after being sliced up by a baby with chainsaws. This game follows the normal Japanese tradition of being full of “what the fuck is that!?!” moments but not to the extent of some of the tentacle movies I may have been shown by my younger and slight disturbing sister. You play as this guy called Vincent who at the start you sort of hate. He’s a bit of a bitch, he’s clearly lazy and he spends every night in a bar. Like who does that, really? really…really….really…Sorry got into a miz moment there. Anyways Vincent. He’s dating the highly strung Katherine. Katherine is your current girlfriend and love of your life who seems to be obsessed with her career until one day when it’s suddenly marriage,family and kids and wtf, who is this woman? Anyways you’ve been having freaky dreams where you’re climbing blocks and in a nutshell your normal worries that she causes (bitch) become your worst nightmares. This isn’t helped at all by a sudden arrival of tiny skirted Catherine (trust me the names get confusing as hell at points. I had to rely on the sounds they make on the phone to know which one I was texting) who seduces you with her legs and big eyes and other girly attributes. Shes a slut ok. Trust me. Whole point of the game, climb the blocks and survive what happens.

Simple right? hahahahahahahahaha…no…

As said I died 46 times on a level. Just as you think you’ve maneuvered your way through it and you’re celebrating like it’s 1699, something will move wrong or a sheep will axe you to the head and baaaaaa you’re dead, and dead again, and again and again. But don’t get me wrong you’re not going to be throwing the controls at the TV. I’m a rage gamer as anyone who knows me will tell but this game instead of making me want to kill my firstborn, it instead challenged me to keep going because I knew once I was past that level it was done and I had for the first time ever accomplished something. It’s fucking awesome in simple.

Only downer with it is probably the length of it and re playability. Once you’ve completed it twice for both endings you sort of don’t pick it up again. Would be nice to have some more bring back with it but for a puzzle game its awesome. Buy it! Buy it now!!!Go on, what are you reading this for!!! Get out and buy it! What? You already own it? Go play it then for fucks sake! I’m not that interesting!!!

Image Slut, Harlet!!!!!

So enough of games. Events in my life….Um….Weekend in 3 hours and 8 minutes – Not that I’m counting or anything. Steak and blowjob day came (lol) and went…And that’s really it. Not alot happens in 1 day. So yes I promise I won’t spam you until I’ve completed Mass Effect 3!

A bit of catching up

Published March 14, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So I’ve not blogged in a long while. People keep asking what I’ll write about but to be honest I’m not sure. I was just going to go online and rant about games I play, movies I like and everyday annoyances. Like putting my keys at the bottom of my bag and then not being able to find them when I’m standing outside my front locked door…commence rummaging.

I guess my first entry should be the choice of name for the blog. Reach and Flexibility –

Garrus Vakarian : “Me and my recon officer were always at each other’s throats. So we settled it in the ring. I had the reach, she had the flexibility. After 9 rounds the judges said it was a tie. Alot of pissed of betters in the other room. After that we had a tie breaker in her room. Lets just say I had the reach, and she had the flexibility… “

So I’m currently playing Mass Effect 3. After the last 2 and the numerous play throughs (5 for 1 and 4 for 2 – possibly more) the 3rd one was finally released. I’m a terrible fangirl at times for game characters and mass effect 3 was no different with my ikkle garrywarry. Disgusting I know. I romanced him in the second and the third is no different at all. Poor Kim (my other/better half) hears me squee every time a scene with Garrus happens. I can’t help it, he’s so sweet and voiced well and god I’m a fan girl. Bioware have done a decent job on him that’s for sure. So that’s where the name is from and one I’ll probably keep using for as long as femshep is being gamed on.

ImageSecond part of the blog I should probably explain who I am and what I do. Well I’m a 25 year old imgur browsing gamer. I table top role play as a female dwarf barbarian and I own 3 dragons called neffy,onyxia and cyan (pic of these guys is above). For the time being I live in Ireland with Kim, the waps and my 4 hammies pæleg,øgle,brød and flyve. The hammies are a little speshul with their 7 eyes and 13 legs between them but I love them all the same.

As you can tell I’m a little quirky, I’m not going to go out of my way to say I’m one of those unique snowflakes because I’m not. I just feel like typing…Especially when I’m on a 9 hour shift with no one to talk to. (one of the perks of my current job which in 8 days will be over)

So what else is going on in my life…I’m currently getting divorced from my first boyfriend,husband, thing – We were together for 7 years and separated after 9 months of marriage. Almost 3 years down the line paper work is being sorted so almost a new start for me. Me and Kim, who I got together with probably a week before actually ending things with my ex, are trying for kids. Nearing on double figures for time trying now and I’m getting apprehensive. Trust me though the blog won’t be me QQ’ing about the way the world works with it, that’s what babycentre is for :p Hm…what else – my life is pretty uninteresting now that I put it out in front of me. Guess I’ll leave it at that and will update when I finish ME3 (so about 3 days)