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I… don’t like… this place

Published October 2, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So a review, I know it’s been a while. I’ve sort of been busy with real life things. But here we go!

WoW – Mists of Pandaria


This is Wixxy – She’s my gnome holy priest. She raided Dragon Soul. Cleared normal and is 3/8 in heroic there. She was one of the main healers for the guild and I loved healing on her. Notice how I use past tense? Just before MoP was released class changes were implemented and instantly it felt like I was fighting to get anywhere near the output I had before. Already a little disappointed I figured it’s how it is, change your play style and wait for the new gear and such. I did and here is how it went.

Day 1 – Forgot the release was even coming out despite the big panda pictures and spam in trade chat. Log on the morning after launch. Find instantly I have to spec shadow if I even want to do the quests. I sign up for an instance figuring I can grind them and get some decent gear. Well there is now barely any trash in the instance so farming them for xp was going to be impossible. Gear from the quests in them was limited to either dps items or healing items and I say healing items very lightly. No spirit as it seems they don’t want that anymore instead a slight stat change from the dps version of some crit – haste. Yeah I honestly thought it was bugged for the first few quests.

I started questing then in my shadow spec. Now I don’t like playing as a shadow priest – I’ll get this out first so I am biased when it comes to that. I find it to be dull, slow and tedious. But I did it anyways as it was my only option to gain xp from (apart from pvp and we know my feelings on that from previous reviews). The areas I quested were all the same. Every zone it seemed was grass and hills. There was no variety like there was in early expansions. No Hellfire to counteract Zangermarsh. No it was all green fields and hills. The quests were all the same as well. Go kill 10 mobs, heal 10 Npc’s, burn something, now go kill this main quest npc.Every single quest hub I went to followed this same structure. There were more escort quests than ever before and each one just led me to a new hub that gave me the same 15 quests to kill,heal,burn and kill. By the end of the first zone I had had enough. I logged off for a few hours and when I did come back it was to do the pet battles. I’ll explain more on them later.

Day 2 – I bit my lip and I go questing again. I also run another instance also lacking in variety from the last. Though the boss fights seem interesting at times they all come down to the basic tactic of DONT STAND IN SHIT. Again no loot from them and rubbish quest rewards/xp. So questing it is. Kill,heal, burn and kill. I’m thinking if I get to 90 then I can start doing what I like. I can run the heroics and do the raiding. Do the things I enjoy. I grind for 3 long levels. Getting barely any decent healing loot to keep me going in instances and I’m struggling to heal anything. Only 3 levels though. I’ve got my justice points and I’ll get some nice gear when I ding and then I can enjoy the game. I can do this.

Day 3  – Hills….Grass…Hills…. Mountain…Escort quest…Oh my god I might die of boredom at this rate! I make it though. I hit 90. FUCK YES! NO MORE FUCKING QUESTS! NO MORE GOD DAMN MOBS THAT NEED KILLING,HEALING,BURNING OR KILLING! I CAN FINALLY PLAY HOW I WANT AGAIN!

Nope…not that simple. Never that simple. I fly to a vendor with my justice points all excited about the gear I’m going to get. The instances I’m going to run and the fun I’m finally going to have after the 3 days of wanting to gauge my eyes out. I open his inventory and what does he have – Fuck all. “you need to be revered with so and so to get this item”…..what? I ask my guild if I’m at the wrong guy. “No, you require rep now for justice and valor items”….Um and I can get the rep running instances right? “No, you have to do dailies”……Are you fucking serious? I have to quest..After all the questing I just did. On the class that I don’t want to quest on. I can’t run instances for gear because I can’t heal them due to my shit gear from the quests I just did. Do I have any other options? I can run scenarios, which require me to dps. I can do the dailies a few at a time. I can grind the normal instances in the hope that I get dropped items so that I can progress to heroics where I will gain valor points that I can’t spend due to not wanting to quest. It was at this point I closed the game and decided enough was enough. Kim made me a list of items that didn’t require me to do dailies with. I started on them but figured what was the point? I wasn’t happy with the expansion. I didn’t want it to exist.

I tried the pet battling on my mage. I refused to level her up as I didn’t want to quest in the green dull zones again. Pet battling was ok. Basically Pokemon only with your own pets. You get loads of achievements and it does fill the void of there being no real minigames in the past. I enjoyed this but as an entire community moves forward, you sort of get left behind and it loses the fun very quickly.

So quick sum up/ some extra things

Pros –

Pet Battling – It’s Pokemon all over again. It’s simple and finally has a use for the 264 companion pets I have. I can finally name them the things I want as well.

Gear looks nicer. There is less brown and things finally look a little more epic

Yeah that’s all I have for Pros….

Cons –

All the areas look the same! They look nice but once you’ve seen one Shaolin style monastery you’ve seen them all. I wasn’t interested in them during Guild Wars Factions and I’m not interested in them now.

Quests are all the same – Now yes this was the same in previous expansions. It’s how it is with any MMORPG – But I have never in my entire time of gaming known them to be so repetitive, grindy and painful to complete.

Instances are off-limits unless you have the type of mindset to run dailies and after 5 levels of quests I didn’t have that mindset at all.

So in conclusion at this point in time I’m happy to let my subscription expire. They have tried to make subtle fixes so that less questing is needed but it’s far too little. My recommendation to anyone who hasn’t upgraded yet – Don’t bother. It really isn’t worth the £30-50 and the monthly costs. I didn’t even touch the panda/monk stuff as by level 90 I didn’t care. After 7 years of playing WoW I’m throwing in the towel and searching elsewhere for my enjoyment. It’s sad for me but it’s only a game.


Gnome Female – “I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused.”

(Tiny smallprint here – Don’t bother arguing with me about my points. This is how I feel and no ammount of fanboy advice will make me change my mind…oh and Blizzard don’t sue me)

Totally off topic

Published September 15, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So prepare for some dull stuff. If you’re not into WoW this will bore you incredibly but I wanted to go on about my characters for a post. WoW is a big part of my time during the days and keeps my mind from the worries that build up in my fragile little mind so here goes.

I currently have a total of 6 level 85 characters. All on the same realm, same faction and surprisingly all female. There’s something about playing male characters that I just don’t feel comfortable with. Most of them are gnomes too (which are the best of the races….stop argueing they are!)

Anyways we have my main – This is Alpy – My first ever character in WoW. She’s a mage, mining engineer, chef, and highest dps on any server anywhere in the world. Trust me I’m a wow player 😀

Next we have my tough and mighty tank Whipple-

Look at her taming that big crocodile – Amazing isn’t she!

We have the lock (Wabble) and second mage (Kærlighed) (Yes I like mages – levelled 6 so far so expert mage here – except frost…nobody plays that pvp shit)

I apologise for the cropping but I’m not a Photoshop person at all. I best introduce Phuughun as well (He doesn’t like being left out)

And finally with my hunter (Shinjoo) Named after a character from a slightly graphic japanese dating sim.

The names of the pets are all really chosen by the waps – Jupiter was only caught today and was really called Oomowmow but it sort of didn’t fit him. He’s probably the only one with a proper name. There is all GrrGrr the Devidevisaur, Woofymcbark the police dog and Webby the spider but they’re all currently AFK.

I also sort of wanted to gloat with this post about my recent tame of Jupiter ( one of the rarer of the pets) so muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Lost hours and a good reason why.

Published May 30, 2012 by reachandflexibility

Right so I promised a review right? I’ve had a friend over for the last week so it’s coming a little late.

Nameless one – “I wonder what it was I said that made death reject me.”

We’ll start with Planescape Torment. Now this game is olllllldddd. Well 1999 that’s old in my gamer world. I was only 12 at the time and was just finding out about 5ive and other strange teenage things. Mostly WCW and how to hit a man with a guitar. It’s essentially Diablo only with a lot more talking and a system that you have to work with, something that to be honest I’m not used to doing. You need to actually think when it comes to levelling up and you need to avoid combat at times. Like come on! I’m the hero and that means I can kill anything and everything whenever the hell I want to. Well apparently not with this game, with this one you will die and you will find yourself trekking the crypts to find where you were again and again and again. It’s not all bad though, the characters seem pretty solid and you do get some awesome one liners from it such as “One time you awoke obsessed with the idea that *I* was your skull and chased me around the Spire trying to shatter and devour me. Luckily, you were crushed by a passing cart in the street.” It seemed to be a good game and I hear a lot of old school gamers swear that it’s the best rpg ever. It’s not to me though. Maybe it’s because I’m one of the lazy culture and I just like things to be easy (most likely) but I just couldn’t get into it. I tried but with the occasional crashes caused by it being such an old game I just couldn’t get immersed into it. I kept dying, I kept have trouble with the UI, the chat options only ever seemed to link me back to other chat options that I didn’t want. It’s clunky and I think this is mostly caused by age. If they could streamline it to be more newbie friendly but still kept the plot and the characters and such I think I’d be much happier and would prob probably have kept going to the end. I know I should have anyways but I’m not the type to play a game for 72 hours just for it to then get good. I want good from the start. Hell, I can’t even sit through a Michael Bay film waiting for it to get good.

Covetous Shen – “Hope… Do not look down, my friend. even in the darkest of times, there is always hope. Hope for a better day, hope for a new dawn. Or just hope for a good breakfast. You start small, then see what you can get

Now we’ll move onto what took over a few days later. It’s what took over a lot of people I know and there’s a good few reasons why. Diablo 3. Long awaited sequel and finally a pc game that isn’t Mass Effect which has made me lose numerous hours and driven Kim to referring to himself as a “D3 widower”. Now before I start I will say this – I only played 30 minutes of D2, I played nothing of D1. I have no idea about the original plot or how it used to work so before I see comments of “OMGWTFNOOB” I’ll explain why.  D1 was released in 1996, 3 years before Planescape Torment. I was 9 and we owned 1 pc in the house. It was loaded with my dad’s games and a copy of cats. I didn’t game at all. Maybe SNES but that is all. Diablo 2 I finally acquired in 2009 when I started working at Blizzard itself. I assume now that I’ve left I can say I worked there. *shrug* Anyways I got a free copy and expansion of it. I installed it on my lowly laptop and began to play as my barbarian (nice and simple class lots of smashing). Well I then went to a cave and died. I decided I’d level up and then go back to the cave, except when you died you lost all your items and had to go fetch them from the monster filled hall. Well queue my normal reaction to such situations – “Fuck this game!” – I tried at a later date to play it only to find my pc couldn’t run it at all. I’ve not tried since. I’m not a technical or patient person at all. Then D3 was released. Played the demo and thought ok. I’ll give it a chance, tried the death system first and it seemed ok. Got a copy and installed – Lost 60 hours of my life instantly.

We’ll start with the pro’s –

Death System has been improved. Yay! You die, you run back  in, you res, you lose durability on your items but you still have your items. I can deal with this. Gold is so easy to come by that repair costs are nothing so you can basically suicide run your way through anything. I like this. I like no penalty when I die. That is on the normal modes of course :p There is still a hardcore mode where if you die you die. Not in real life, that would be fucking sadistic. You die for good in-game. I will try this as a laugh once I have completed my current play through. I expect to die quickly. 😀

Gold is easy to come by. If you just clear a dungeon you get a lot of items and can sell them and be loaded pretty quickly. In the words of the guy from Goldmember – “I like gooooolddd”

The story – The story is awesome even if it does seem a bit rushed towards the end. It might just be me but I’m left asking what happened questions when it finished. I won’t spoil it so go play, you play now!

Soundtrack is fucking awesome. As are the voices for the characters. This keeps you involved with the game because I think if my character had sounded like Christopher Walken or something I might have been a little distracted and just muted the sound. Even the constant sound of smash,bang,scream, ughhhh, is cool with me.

I suck at pro’s for a game so I’m going to stick with go play the game and just accept that it’s a good game.

Now for the cons, I will mention that most of these aren’t problems with the game development itself. You’ll see what I mean –

Lag. Now I expected lag. It’s an online game and well it’s what you get but D3 seems to be affected by everything and anything. You can be on google loading pictures and on another pc you get lag. Not just little bitty lag, I’m talking major unplayable lag. Lag where you find yourself teleport 20 feet back and are at 0 health while mobs mush your face into tiny pieces type lag. I don’t think it is so much the servers. The first few days were hell for login but that was expected.  This seems to be something else and I’ll just let the techy’s deal with it and will make sure not to be doing anything else at the same time.

The auction house. Now for non gamers the auction house or AH is like the eBay for your gamer goods. You get an item in-game, something that you think is worth more than 500g and you post it on there. Simple right? Not really…Due to the amount of people playing it and the excess gold that people pick up you’ll find yourself scouring through 49 pages of shitty items that cost anywhere between 50k and 1m. The economy is a mess and unfortunately players don’t really seem to be improving this as at the end of the day they are getting their gold. When gear is a big part of the game you need to keep on top of it. Unfortunately what you get dropped is random and if you’re like me the AH is your only source for items. I refuse to give gold to people for something they got out of luck. I’m like it in all games. Until the prices come down I won’t be buying much. I dread to think what items will sell like when the real money one is released. If it ever is.

Now gear. As I mentioned it’s a big part of the game. If your gear is shit you will die a lot. You will not do the damage needed or be able to take the damage. Especially when you change acts in the game there is quite a jump in the mobs abilities to kill you.  The con with this is the gear you get is completely random with the stats. You could get dropped a sword and it have 900 strength on it. Your friend could get another sword and it have 6 strength on it but instead have 894 intellect on it. This of course means you can’t just farm for an item as you might never get it. You’re sort of forced to use the AH which as said is completely out of control for the time being. This makes it very difficult for the casual player to enjoy the game fully. Maybe this will be sorted somehow. I’m not sure. For now it’s best to just use what you can and not give into the money grabbing 12 years olds that are apparently sleeping with my mother. (Yes they are here too)

So in conclusion  –

D3 is a good game and one that I’m actually going to log back onto in a moment. It had an incredibly rocky start as for some reason they hadn’t prepared for what was coming despite it being the most preordered game in the last decade but I’ll accept that. You can prepare for a tornado but still get destroyed. The con’s of the game though a pain in the ass can be worked around and even if you are annoyed by them you’ll just rant a bit but still continue playing. I think that’s what I’m enjoying most. Despite its flaws I keep playing. I’m actually enjoying the game and maybe that’s the biggest pro it can get. It’s an enjoyable game.


And they say nerds don’t find love.

Published May 18, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So I was going to chat about D3 but another blog on I read on here gave me this plan. I would link them but firefox won’t allow me to load any blogs and as such I’m reading them off my phone. I’ve tried fixing it but laziness and lack of knowledge about technology has won again. So this weeks blog I will talk about me and Kim. I figured something so important in my life was worth a feature on my blog. I guess he deserves it too what with living with me.

So me and Kim met through work like most couples do though it was not a love at first sight type of romance. In fact he thought I was gobby and loud and I thought he was arrogant and terrifying.  After about 7 months of working together I got invited by a friend to go to their new table top roleplay of Star Wars hosted by Kim. I hadn’t done much,if any, roleplay but figured I might enjoy it. So we started gaming together and I got the impression that he wasn’t as much of a jerk as he first seemed. He wasn’t shouting at me about work so that was a bonus.

1 night about a month later I had this strange dream which he was in where he was just holding me telling me things would be ok. Now during this time I had been going through a bit of a down patch. Self harming almost every night, on and off vile anti depressants (Not good in simple) and when I had this dream I believed what he was saying and I woke up the next day feeling 1 – confused, why was it him and not my then current bloke? and 2- wondering how i would woo this strange Danish, slightly terrifying guy without coming off as crazy.

Well I went with number 2. Things between me and my ex had been strange for a long time. Even before we got married. We were more like friends who were living together than an actual couple – probably one of the major problems with meeting at school. I’d grown bored and wanted to experience life and he wanted well more than i was willing to give him. I’d gone from the puppy love teenager to the strange housewife in such a short while. But anyways enough about that. So option 2 it was, I would send odd texts, nothing obvious just things trying to make conversation, the type of trying to get the attention without scaring him into submission (he wouldn’t submit anyways, too damn stubborn for that). He sucked at getting the hint but one day we caught each other online. On Facebook of all places, I guess that’s one of the things good about the site. We decided to meet up town and as I agreed my heart pounded and I had to figure out ways to try to impress and not fuck it up. Or at least have him say no to me so I could work on getting that idea of a new relationship from my head.

So we meet up, go for a nice meal together. I sly in to the topic about relationships and he mentions that he wouldn’t want to be with me (just as an imaginary situation). Well I was destroyed but figured oh well, carry on like normal. We spend the entire day together. In the evening we parted and suddenly we’re chatting online again soon after. The conversation turned to more flirting to eventually pure smut but after it we both knew where we stood. We wanted to go out together, see how we coped on a date. Well that date ended up with me staying the night. We’ve been together ever since. The breakup with the ex could have gone better than expected. At least that ended just before the date or I might have felt guilty for technically cheating but we were over long before that night I felt.

But yes, me and kim. Hopefully together for much much longer. Not sure if I ever feel like getting married again after the last disaster but you never know. I love him and fingers crossed he loves me just as much.

When someone asks if you’re a god…

Published April 20, 2012 by reachandflexibility

Freya says YES!!! (And not like Daniel Bryan)

Today I’m going to talk about the Pathfinder game we play each week. I’m Freya, the group’s Dwarf Barbarian. I tried finding a picture that would display the epicness and grandeur of the character but nothing seemed to fit. Lets just say Freya will one day become a deity or if that fails she’ll be leader of a nation and will smite all who oppose her.

She’s joined by healy priest,cleric,mage, preacher and know-it-all thing Meredith. She’s the one with the apparent “good” in her however seems to have a thing for succubi and releasing them on innocent victims. She also likes searing hands a little too much.

We have Vanian the monk who using her high levels of skill and lucky dice rolls can run up walls and punch out bad guys. She also likes the song kung fu fighting.

Next is the half ork – Sheraz, cheraz, quantro…whatever – who hasn’t been there long. She came in after the player had his last 2 characters destroyed. And I mean flattened. We expect the same to happen with this one any time soon. In Pathfinder being smart is not always good.

And finally we have the afk one. Andarius the dragon caster guy. Whose mother is a whore. Oh did I not mention that before? She’s a whore, a slut and a harlot. Probably where Meredith gets her taste from. Basically Meredith is an orphan (nice bland background there) and Andarius is of course the son of a noble woman and her one night fling. Thanks to the 2 of them not covering all loose ends with their pasts it was decided their mother got around a bit in her young times and the 2 of them are actually related. So as I stated before “She’s a whore, a slut and a harlot”.

Now we’re currently questing through the Rise of the Runelords books ( and coming up to the final encounter. It’s been a good run, I still have no idea at all how power attack is meant to work but I do know I hate grapple and how it’s worked out and that if you get grappled you basically have no option whatsoever than to be squished.

The final fight will be interesting. Mostly because of how attached I’ve become to my character over the last year or so. Freya eventually gained back story, a personality. Hell even a husband. I guess what I’m saying is if she dies, then a little part of me dies too. Am I willing to give that up so easily? I don’t know…I’m not sure if it’s the same for other gamers out there. It will be sad to leave the characters that I’ve grown to love. I’ll miss the arguments that me and Meredith often have. Usually it’s me having an awesome idea and her saying that it’s not really suitable…But what does she know? I’ll miss seeing if Andarius’ bastard child grows to be a dragon as well. I’ll miss getting the monk drunk. I won’t miss the ork so much. He just spends his time letting me get hit by bosses so….

We’ll defiantly have to write our own tales after the story’s end. I refuse to just let the end be it.  Freya will continue to fight and will battle foes once again! After all who else is that good? Except maybe Shepard…


The square root of rope is string.

Published March 31, 2012 by reachandflexibility

Cave Johnson : All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade!
Make life take the lemons back!
Get Mad!
I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons!

So new review. ‘Bout time I did one rather than just QQ’ing about my life. This week has been Portal 2. I don’t have the money for most recent games so will just have to do with the ones I already own :p

Right so Portal 2 is guess what? The sequel to Portal. Basically you are Chell, the mute who wakes up in a cell and has to go through tests to eventually take down the super computer running the place. It’s not the most in-depth plot but the character of Glados (The big evil super computer) keeps you going through it. Now the second one is basically the same plot only it’s a little more in-depth about the company that you are “working” for.  There is also the character of Wheatley who you will grow to love and hate at the same time. He has basically been looking after the place since your victory at the end of the original.

So gameplay – You control a portal gun. You shoot an entrance and an exit and use these to get around the maps in front of you. They’re laid out in such a way that you need to think out where to set these portals in order to progress. It’s very simple so no need to be a hardcore gamer to complete it. At times the puzzles will be extremely frustrating but they are very easy once you know what you’re doing. Even non gamers can pick up this game pretty quickly 🙂

Portal 2 also came with the multiplayer mode. Something which developers love to put in with sequels. Not sure why really but oh well. You’ll find this fun but it can feel like trying to teach a family member to drive at times. You’ll both see different things on the screen and communication between the 2 of you has to be top-notch or you will spend 10 minutes going “shoot the portal at the thing at the top…No the other thing…No, the thing with the orange coming out of it…No…Just shoot where I’m shooting for fucks sake”. Unless you love this other person so much that you’re willing to not mock them for being an idiot I would suggest just playing on the single player. You’re not missing much anyways.

I’ve played through the games a few times now if only for the achievements so it does have the replayability with it, which I found the first one lacked. There is something about the characters with the second one that you don’t get bored with hearing them over and over. (Useful when you die…Like I do…Alot)

Only real con with Portal 2 is it doesn’t really leave it open for a sequel..Which when you finish it you will want one simply because it’s so much fun. That and even after being called fat repeatedly in-game you’ll end up feeling sad for it ending. Maybe I’m just a sucker for characters :p

Glados: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.

Sorry this hasn’t been that in-depth a review. There isn’t much to the game than what is above. It’s simply one that I recommend everyone should try out for themselves. There are barely any problems with it at all, and all the awards it won were well deserved. It’s much easier to criticize a game’s flaws than point out all the good areas of it. Maybe next week I’ll review a terrible game. Like Final Fantasy 12/13….

(By the way. Any pictures you see, I don’t take credit for. I just google for them and if they suit it I simply put them in. Good work to the people who made them)

To each their own…

Published March 17, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So today before my smashing starts as Freya (pathfinder character) I figured the review of ME 1,2 and 3 should be written. I finished the 3rd one last night so here goes.

Mass effect is the story of Commander Shepard and her Normandy crew off to save the galaxy from the overpowered and quite terrifying Reapers. An ancient race of beings who clear the galaxy of life every 50 000 years or so.

So Mass Effect 1


Major Kirrahe “Our influence stopped the Rachni, but before that we held the line!
Our influence stopped the Krogan, but before that, we held the line!
Our influence will stop Saren; in the battle today, we will hold the line!”

I’ll try and sort these reviews in a sort of list view. Keeps it easy on the eyes and stops me ranting…Well hopefully :p

Cons –

Male Shepard’s voice is about as bland as England playing the rugby and whenever he does anything exciting you just think he doesn’t care. He seems to be out experienced with it by everyone in the game, even npc’s.

Planet scanning is a bit clunky. You get this thing called the mako to drive around and it drives badly. Each planet seems to be an overly mountainous (might not even be a word but fuck it) and I sort of wonder what happened to all the plains in the galaxy. Whether they have been destroyed or just been evolved out.

Pros –

Story is awesome, simple yet engaging. You’re put against questions of whether to destroy entire races or keep them alive despite knowing their history of pure destruction. Something which trust me you will find yourself thinking about even if you’re on a one track road to being the most bad ass renegade ever.

Voice acting by female Shepard is one of the best I’ve heard and as mentioned voice acting is perfect. Except by male Shepard. How he can romance the pants of even the sluttiest of asari I’ll never know.

The galaxy is huge and there are lots of areas to explore. With all this you’re looking around 40 hours of gameplay without the DLC (at least this is how long it took me)

Overall –

It’s an amazing game and one I would recommend to anyone. I played on pc so controls were very simple with the WASD and simple clicking to fire. On easy mode combat it’s nothing to worry about. Sound is awesome and you’ll find yourself in love with the soundtrack. Despite the cons of the game you won’t mind at all. They’re minor and defiantly not something you’ll find yourself quitting the game over.

Mass Effect 2

EDI: “I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.”

Cons –

Voice acting by male Shepard is yet to improve. I wonder if it ever will (bear in mind I played female through them so I didn’t have to hear his Keanu Reeves impression style voice acting)

Mako driving has now been replaced by planet scanning – Though I don’t mind this so much personally, it can be quite dull if you’re wanting to just save the galaxy. It also takes away a lot of the planets that were quite relaxing to drive around (When you weren’t needing to go up hill that is)

Levelling skills and gear has been streamlined majorly to make it easier for the combat guys out there. Now we all know they’re 12 years olds who have apparently slept with my mum so they need all the help they can get but this was extreme. Though I don’t mind the combat itself as it was easier to navigate, I felt this took a lot out of the game as your character felt less yours. I barely levelled my character manually and instead just went for the auto level as it made no difference at all.

Where did my 9999999 credits go!!! Money is hard to come by and you need it for your upgrades. Don’t waste money on a million fish and items you won’t wear or you will regret it majorly.

Pros –

I don’t have to drive the mako anymore. Now I know I put this as a con too but I really did not enjoy the mako and the lay out of the planets. They were irritating as hell and after 40 hours the last thing I wanted to do was be killed by a threshermaw just so I could grab that damn node on the map. (A node that make no difference whatsoever to anything in the game)

Characters introduced are still as awesome as they ever were. Voice acting still as amazing as it ever was, even from the AI. and now more romance options so I finally get my Garrus!!!

More choices during cut scenes. Now I’m not one for  having to hit a button during a cut scene to avoid the evil monster trying to smash my brain in (RE4 I’m looking at you) but these were done pretty well. Jumping in and shooting near a guy to get his attention is something that should be an option in any game. I love this. Sometimes they are a pain to catch as you’ve just relaxed to see conversation but they’re defiantly a welcome interruption I feel.

Overall –

A still good game. The combat changes do make it feel a little different to the first but the story still keeps you enthralled. The ending is a non stop ride of excitement and even after multiple playthroughs i still find myself on the edge of my seat hoping to god that everything goes ok. Trust me like Game of Thrones, anyone can die (except Shepard that is – watch the adventures of blonde Shepard on youtube to watch this happen :p)

Mass Effect 3

Illusive Man: “Don’t turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you. I brought you back from the dead.”

Cons –

Now this is where it all starts to go downhill and I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t/hasn’t agreed with me so far. This is all my own feelings from the games and hopefully everyone is entitled to their own opinions on the internet.

Levelling and gear has tried to be padded a little more since the second but not enough to make it actually useful. You’ll find 1 gun you like and will stick with it no matter how ineffective it is. I was a soldier with a sniper rifle for the entire game! Heavy weapons you barely get a look at apart from when you pick them up off corpses and even then they’re limited to use. Levelling skills is just time-consuming and again seems to make no difference at all gameplay wise. Yet again just use the auto level up for effectiveness.

Planet scanning has been replaced with galaxy scanning. You basically fly around the galaxy and at random ping your scanner to hopefully find something. Each ping will alert the reapers of your presence until they chase you out of the area and from then you’ll have trouble getting back in if needed until you complete a mission. I ended up resorting to a guide on this so that it was less random and I could get it done to 100% without destroying any sort of enjoyment in the game for me.

Characters can now not be interacted with around your ship unless it’s some sort of event. Now you just listen to what they have to say without any type of personalization. It’s a real downer for anyone who used to visit their crew members after each mission just to make sure everyone was all ok. Now you may as well not bother.

Knowing whether you will win against the reaper threat is confusing. You need to have a certain readiness in order to win and this is gained by scanning planets and making everyone happy (choosing renegade seems to screw you in places for this…I know, I know, it’s renegade and it should but still. I want to be a badass not all evil of the galaxy) And even then and this is the most irritating point – if you want the good ending (And I say ending with a taint of bitterness in my well… typing) you need to play multiplayer. Now if you’re like me and 1 you have no friends and 2 you suck at playing with the 12-year-old online who as previously mentioned are sleeping with my mum, you will hate this. All endings should be available to all players no matter how they want to complete it. This has bugged me quite a bit and I will angry face at the keyboard for this. I can’t change it so angry face will do for now.

Now onto the ending….Well its a copout. I don’t know if the writers had to go somewhere that day or they had a meeting and realised they’d ran out of budget to make something decent but it’s pants. I suggest playing to the final point where you’re given 3 options what to do and then close the game. Pat yourself on the back and come up with your own ending. Trust me anything you think up will be better than what is shown in front of you. So as not to spoilt it I’ll leave it at that for you.


Romancing is still as good as ever and some lines are even sweeter. My last words with Garrus honestly bought tears to my eyes. (I’m quite an emotional person so maybe it’s just me lol)

Voices are still amazing – I can’t give an update on male Shepard as I’ve not seen him yet but trailers haven’t made me want to watch paint dry so that’s a good start I feel. Lance Henriksen being more present is always a bonus too.

Graphics have had a major update. Now I want to put this in cons as well but I’ll give the game a break at this point. If you’re like me then your character will look nothing like it did originally. There is a bug so you can’t copy old characters so you need to make them again and even then your character will look sort of offish if you copy it over but you’ll get over it as it’s minor. Graphics look good with each character and they look even better for the worlds around you (London is amazing)

Story is still good. It’s lacking in a lot of places but it’s still good. Bringing peace between races is pretty cool when you’re going through it all and the reports you get in about the end of the universe coming give the atmosphere a feeling that can’t just be shaken off. You do feel like you’re fighting towards something and you feel that you actually need to save the galaxy. An epic feeling that is missed by so many games.

Overall –

As many good points as there are with the third I would rather it hadn’t been made. I don’t like how it has tainted such as epic series of games especially with the ending it gave. Maybe they will release a DLC ending (something that god I wont be happy having to pay for). For now, I suggest just playing the first 2. Step into the 3rd but don’t waste that much energy on it. It’s not a bad game but if you want to experience Mass Effect and experience it for all the good reasons just imagine this one doesn’t exist.

Please don’t flame me with abuse on that final note I just felt really let down by it all when finishing it last night after what felt like so much work (there’s not even as much gameplay as the original ones too)

Hopefully my reviews were understandable. These are just for people who can’t stand the reviews online that go into insane depth. ^^

Distractions in the form of illiteracy

Published March 15, 2012 by reachandflexibility

So it seems people may have read my first entry. *waves frantically* Hi everyone!!!

Yes I know I said 3 days for me to play Mass effect 3 but I’m sort of that absent minded and easily distracted I thought what the hell, lets annoy the Internet again.

Vincent Brooks – “Fucking blocks… I’m gonna climb the shit outta you!”

Now the game Catherine I figured I’d start with. The line above is one I actually found myself uttering on numerous occasions. Usually after falling to my death for the 46th time or after being sliced up by a baby with chainsaws. This game follows the normal Japanese tradition of being full of “what the fuck is that!?!” moments but not to the extent of some of the tentacle movies I may have been shown by my younger and slight disturbing sister. You play as this guy called Vincent who at the start you sort of hate. He’s a bit of a bitch, he’s clearly lazy and he spends every night in a bar. Like who does that, really? really…really….really…Sorry got into a miz moment there. Anyways Vincent. He’s dating the highly strung Katherine. Katherine is your current girlfriend and love of your life who seems to be obsessed with her career until one day when it’s suddenly marriage,family and kids and wtf, who is this woman? Anyways you’ve been having freaky dreams where you’re climbing blocks and in a nutshell your normal worries that she causes (bitch) become your worst nightmares. This isn’t helped at all by a sudden arrival of tiny skirted Catherine (trust me the names get confusing as hell at points. I had to rely on the sounds they make on the phone to know which one I was texting) who seduces you with her legs and big eyes and other girly attributes. Shes a slut ok. Trust me. Whole point of the game, climb the blocks and survive what happens.

Simple right? hahahahahahahahaha…no…

As said I died 46 times on a level. Just as you think you’ve maneuvered your way through it and you’re celebrating like it’s 1699, something will move wrong or a sheep will axe you to the head and baaaaaa you’re dead, and dead again, and again and again. But don’t get me wrong you’re not going to be throwing the controls at the TV. I’m a rage gamer as anyone who knows me will tell but this game instead of making me want to kill my firstborn, it instead challenged me to keep going because I knew once I was past that level it was done and I had for the first time ever accomplished something. It’s fucking awesome in simple.

Only downer with it is probably the length of it and re playability. Once you’ve completed it twice for both endings you sort of don’t pick it up again. Would be nice to have some more bring back with it but for a puzzle game its awesome. Buy it! Buy it now!!!Go on, what are you reading this for!!! Get out and buy it! What? You already own it? Go play it then for fucks sake! I’m not that interesting!!!

Image Slut, Harlet!!!!!

So enough of games. Events in my life….Um….Weekend in 3 hours and 8 minutes – Not that I’m counting or anything. Steak and blowjob day came (lol) and went…And that’s really it. Not alot happens in 1 day. So yes I promise I won’t spam you until I’ve completed Mass Effect 3!