So my scales arrived and guess what! I was 10kg less than my midwife appointment 3 years ago so instead og starting this journey at 121kg, I’m starting it at 110kg! (244lbs for the Americans!).
This does make my calories a little lower for the days (I’m going by recommended TDEE, not just 1200 crazy) but it’s not so bad when I work out my meals. I’ve been finding some good recipes on google and reddit so last week got to try quinoa for the first time and suprisingly enjoyed it! My problem comes in the evenings when the meals are a little heavier and a little later than I could do with, but its something I’m willing to do so that me and my husband can enjoy time together. I just make sure to add it all in for the day and cut back.
At university this is easier as I’m kept busy and my mind always occupied but at home I’m driving crazy with boredom and as such with unneeded hunger. I’ve tidied my house this week, just to give me something productive to do. The joys of having a toddler means I can’t actually do anything I want to do. Crochet? Nope, she wants my yarn and hooks. PC? She’s escaped to try and kill herself with something. At least I’m running around after her then.
But Wednesday will be weigh in day and I’m excited. I’ll admit this week hasn’t been easy on some days. Just feeling like shit from the diet change. But other days I have felt amazing, So much energy, So happy. I’ve even signed up for a 5 week challenge for accountibility!
So roll on Wednesday!
MFP Profile for anyone interested : http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profile/alpyra0306
My Instagram :https://www.instagram.com/wapsody_love/
I passed the interview. Starting the 1st September, I will be doing a 4 year degree in teaching. I’m just so full of different feelings right now. Excited, nervous, unsure but determined.
I have a goal now, a life again, something to aim for and to focus on. I feel like a person again. I feel like me again.
To give you all a backstory I finished my GCSE’s with good grades but at 17 went off the rails and flunked my AS’. I managed 3 U’s and an E in psychology. The only reason I managed that was because I had a panic attack and got seated by myself for the exam where I could focus and relax. I dropped out shortly after that and went straight into a working life. No qualifications for me. It wasn’t until 2013 that I went back to college and found out within 2 weeks of being there that I was pregnant with our long awaited daughter. I aced the 1st year despite the tough pregnancy, 3 weeks after the exams had Beth and then 4 months later we unexpectedly moved to Denmark. I never even started my second year. I just became a mother and nothing else. I never regained any sense of purpose. Only that sense of jumping through hopes to try and achieve anything.
But I’ve finally got it now. And I don’t want to lose this. I will do my best to get through this, to work hard, to be a good mother, to be a good role model to my little girl. To be a good wife to the man I love. I owe him that much after all these years of him supporting us. I can do this. I know it,
So we’re at the start of September already. This year has gone by so quickly. Tomorrow I go back to college for the first time in 10 years. I will be surrounded by teenagers who are barely legal to drink and who think the big bang is a “cool show”. I’m dreading every minute of it.
How I expect to feel.
Whilst part of me thinks I’ll be the oldest one there and college isn’t about socializing its about studying another part of me hopes that I am secretly like Judd Nelson from the Breakfast Club. Possibly the coolest person there. I totally thought I was like that during college last time and that may have been where it all went wrong. Didn’t every teenager want to be like him though?
How I want to feel. (I can’t be the only one who found him sexy right?)
I’m doing the canine husbandry and looking forward to it. Finding I was 6% off the top mark for the part time course I did has only boosted my confidence that if I work and put my mind to it I can do well. 10 years ago I would’ve thought I’d just do well through arrogance but now I know I do well through work.
Anyways in other news the hospital finally got in contact with me about my infertility referral sent to them over a year ago. They asked if I still wanted an appointment (yeah duh). I rang around and got told speak to M. Well I spent a day trying to get through to this woman. Every time I rang was someone new who would ask me if she was staff or patient. They work with this lady and yet don’t know who she is. Yeah I was frustrated. In the end I left them a message saying get her to ring me. She hasn’t but today I finally got an appointment through. The only problem is it’s for Thursday. The same day as my first full day at college. And can Kim get the day off too for it? Nope. So I have to wait until tomorrow after college to ring them to reschedule it. If I can that is. Seriously the way things work over here annoy me sometimes. Like don’t book someone in for an appointment that soon unless you know they can make it. Not everyone can drop things at a days notice.
This appointment does mean though that things are moving forward again though. Hopefully we can see where we stand in the TTC light and if anything I can be called young again by the doctors there. I need to get back on my weight loss train too. Seems I lost some weight and then was lazy for a little while and weight has not only crept but has instead smothered itself onto me. I feel heavier than I did before and this weekend has not helped things. I have gorged. If it’s loaded with calories chances are I have eaten it. Why? Because with college starting, lack of monies and hospital stuff I’m not going to give myself another chance to. It was silly but was so needed.
Things that have also happened including a huge Facebook culling of “friends”. Not just the people you don’t like but the school types who you never spoke to back then so why should you now. A guy I knew had over 900 “friends”. Like, really? 900? Recently I’ve gained a real dislike for the site. I only have it to keep in touch with friends and family who live in other countries. Everyone else I have on skype. It just seems its a page for problems to be caused. Nothing but people trying to seem intelligent with discussions on current events (most of which they know nothing about) or neurotic people looking for attention and validation on their problems. I can’t be doing with it and yet still I have an account as I know if I got rid of it then people wouldn’t bother contacting me as it’s too difficult to pick up a phone it seems. But then again all friendships have an expiry date I think. How can you stay friends with someone when you live such different lives, Wanting different things? It makes sense when you’re at school/work/live together but after that why bother? You’ll both meet new people. You’ll both gain new interests. Just seems too forced to stay friends with someone simply because they/you can’t bare the loss.
Anyways so quite a bit going on this week and hopefully I’ll keep you all updated. I’m excited though nervous and I think things are going to go ok from now on. At least I can hope so. Here’s to September and a month of change for the better.