Judgemental mothers

Published January 27, 2015 by reachandflexibility

Today I left my birth group. 300 women some of whom I’m now friends with, left simply because I’d had enough and wanted to go alone. It seems rule one to becoming a “good” mother is to judge the parenting of every other mother in terms of “what is best with these weeks fads”,”safety guidelines from this decade and country” and “loving your child the most”. If you don’t fit under this category then you’re more likely to be like myself worrying if you fit the expectations of these perfect mothers.
Today’s reason for leaving was a girl mentioning that she was pissed off her child wouldn’t sleep and a picture of him looking like he’d fallen between the bed and his travel cot. Not the best picture to see if there was any actual danger and a poor choice of words from herself but rather than people trying to figure out the situation the comments started flying instantly about how she was a bad mother putting her baby at risk, and how dare she be pissed off at a 7month old blah blah blah…this girl has enough on her plate and had been up numerous nights in a row. She wanted support and instead got slammed down by the perfect parents.
It’s crap, these women go on about how they are there to support each other and yet in typical female fashion it turns into high school bitching. It’s not something I need in my life. I’m tired of feeling the need to justify myself for not breastfeeding, for not following each guideline to the word simply because that is this weeks safety lesson. I’m tired of being looked down on because I don’t want to co sleep or wear my child every day. I’m sick of feeling like my child is slow because they’re not sucking on a piece of toast the moment they hit 6 months. Parents are meant to act like parents, not like the children they are raising.
This has been a long building rant simply because I know I’m not the best mother in the world. I pre prepare bottles and store them in the fridge, I let her cry, rather than cuddling her if she even so much as whines. I let her watch tv *gasp* and not just babyTV but actual movies like die hard and lethal weapon. Is she happy? Yes. Is she like any normal 8 month old? Yes. Has she gotten sick at all? No. Is she fed, clean, loved? Yes.
Get off your high horses and raise your own children. Not mine.

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