6 weeks – colic, smiles and afternoons off

Published July 18, 2014 by reachandflexibility

So today was me and Beth’s 6 week check. She’s fine in every way. Well apart from the colic. The colic that for the last 5 weeks or so has been driving us all mad. We’ve tried nearly every solution out there from changing her formula (she was breastfed but it was exhausting having her feed for hours on end, the lack of control/knowledge of how much she was actually getting from me and the fact that Kim couldn’t help out) to white noise on the ipad. It’s only in the last few days that she began to settle a little more and even then we still have a few hours of grouchiess.
She’s now around 4.5kg in weight and growing well. She feeds every 3 hours on the dot and is handling the nights quite well. Despite her clearly having Kim’s grumpy face we have even had a few smiles the last few days. They are few and far between but they are there.
I am getting there…with a nights sleep I’m able to cope. Well no, I feel good when I get a nights sleep. I get the housework done, I enjoy my days and I enjoy Beth. With no or little sleep I’m a mess. I’m like I was 4 weeks ago. Tuesday morning I was like this after having around 3 hours sleep, interrupted of course. Kim left for work with Beth crying and me saying that I wished for just a few moments she didn’t even exist. Well he took the afternoon off to come back and look after both of us. It was needed and I was so grateful for the help and support. With a little sleep I felt slightly more normal again.
Well at today’s 6 week check I got given the line that Kim has practically been chanting at me the last few weeks, “don’t beat yourself up”. The nurse told me that everything I was going through was normal. That depression was normal, that guilt was normal and that bonding does take time for some mothers. I nearly started crying there and then. I’ve not been diagnosed with anything but I’ve been told I need to look after myself. To get help when I need it and to take it easy. And of course to stop beating myself up. Easier said than done but I’m working it.
I’m back in 2 weeks for the start of her vaccinations so well see from there if need more help. I hope I don’t. A happier post will come soon I promise.

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