So I’ve been avoiding posting pregnancy related things as 1, a lot of people don’t enjoy hearing about it and 2, not a lot of what I have to say is the lovely joys that others seem to be blogging about. I think it’s about time that I let the world know how I’m feeling at 19 weeks 5 days.
First thing though. Ireland sucks balls for care for pregnant women. I just found at that our 20 week “anomaly” scan is just a quick scan. They won’t do a thorough check like they would in the UK unless you are high risk. Why? Because of funds and the abortion laws over here. An entire country ran on religion still. I shouldn’t moan. I could just leave this place but it’s silly in this day an age to not give people this choice. I saw people as I don’t believe it’s simply a woman’s choice. It is something that affects a whole family and everyone should be able to have a say. Not my place to judge that though and this isn’t what this is about. I guess I’m annoyed with it because I just want everything to be ok after this long and I don’t want to go through everything just to go through a loss that could have prevented or at least eased somewhat.
Now the update part. I have mostly hated being pregnant. 2 1/2 years and yes I’m grateful. I’m happy to be in this situation but I’m so tired and fed up with it that I would happily sleep through the next 20 weeks without a doubt. The morning sickness of the first few weeks developed into something else after 13 weeks. It was like morning sickness for the lazy. No longer can I sleep through a night without wanting to eat. I have to be up around 6.30/7am because any later my stomach will destroy itself and I’m sick. I’ve tried eating in bed, doesn’t work. I’ve tried eating before bed, doesn’t work. I’ve tried different foods, doesn’t work. Nearly 20 weeks and still suffering. And is it just in the morning? Nope it’s whenever I leave food a little too late. I need to eat every 2 hours or so and a quick nibble of something means nothing. I have to eat a meal to get satisfaction and I WILL be starving very soon after. At this rate I will be a globe. Then there is the acid reflux. Since 10 weeks everything I eat sets it off, this is probably what is causing the sickness. I’m drinking Gaviscon from the bottle to ease it because nothing else does. I’m waking up to 4/5 times a night to pee, something which they promised would ease off by the second trimester. I’m tired constantly and not just from the lack of sleep. I’m worn out, fatigued, exhausted, ka-put… And with that comes the annoying one I’m out of breath pretty much all the time. I walk up the stairs and I have to catch my breath. I’m unfit but jesus not that bad. Again I’m grateful to know this is all normal and there are parts I enjoy. The bump (which is mostly a B bump than the D skinnies have) is a nice change to pancake layers of fat I’ve had in the past. My boobs haven’t really changed apart from becoming firmer. They remind me of a cheap porn star. Kim really doesn’t mind this at all. Buying things is nice as I don’t have to worry about my sizes for them. Except maternity clothes and that will just set me off on my ultimate rage. Why the fuck do designers/shops insist on only making skinny jeans? I’m a large girl, hell I won’t beat around the bush, I’m fat. The last thing people need to see if my tubby waddling ass and legs looking like a poorly butchered set of denim sausages. Designers! Get some fatties and design proper clothes for us ¬¬ Ok…Breath…Buying things is nice. A friend of mine has just got us an N7 Babygro for Wiggly. N7 by the way is my much-loved Mass Effects elite fighting force. I’m looking forward to it arriving and eventually showing off Wiggly in it looking like a bad ass.
Anyways I’ve ranted away and people will probably think I should shut up for those who would be grateful to be in my situation. To them I apologise but for fucks sake pregnancy is not the whole glowing beautiful smugness that everyone makes it out to me. What to Expect, 9 months…Even Junior – You lied to me! You lied!!!