So I’ve not posted in ages. I would say not much has happened but that’s a lie. I’m not pregnant is the first thing though. Just in case anyone wondered if that was the reason for my vanishing.
Things that have happened then. I didn’t get onto my vet nursing which I so hoped I would. I did however get offered the course for canine husbandry so I’ll be doing that instead. I’m very happy with that at least and have been worrying about going back since I got the letter with the offer. Counting down till September 😀
My little sister S (Who’s 24 I might add) got baptised at their local church back home. I’m happy for her and looking forward to the pictures. Though I’m not religious myself, more on the fence with it, she’s taken a liking in the christian side of things and with how tough things have been for her recently I’m glad she’s found something good to help her get through it.
My friend J is has reached 17 weeks pregnant and is still going strong. She had some problems at the start just after she had received my gifts for her birthday and a small part of me thought maybe I’d caused the problem. Very very unlikely but with my luck so far on that front I thought maybe I’d gone and passed the torch in some way…Well everything has been fine and we’re been discussing names and her birth plans. Which I have to say I’ve enjoyed.
On a baby front for me nothing has happened. There’s been no clinic stuff simply because we can’t afford it. At 100€ just to see the Dr it’s sort of back of the mind type issue right now. Adoption of course was not really an option and I’m not too big on fostering as I’ve probably explained in the past. For now I’m still hopeful that we’ll have kids one day but now is just not when it’s going to happen.
So from a few weeks back I decided to focus on the things I can control. My weight was top of the list. With a year out of work, fertility meds, depression and a hell of a lot of eating I’ve got to the point where I’m pretty self-conscious of my body and was sort of becoming a recluse. At least in my eyes anyways. I’ve so far cut out fizzy drinks (mostly) and a lot of the snacks and choccy and junk I was eating before. Fruit has actually become a part of my diet. This isn’t a diet by the way. If I think of it as a diet I won’t stick to it. This is a subconscious change of things and I’m going to enjoy it. I’ve also taken up this workout called Hip Hop Abs. Day 3 in and oh my god my legs are killing me. But I’m going to keep going. I’m enjoying it. My only concern with things right now is the summer heat which I’ve never been able to deal with. I’m hoping a good storm shows up soon.
I’m also trying to get out more. Being a recluse has limited my friend circle of people I see. It’s really just me and Kim recently as everyone else has their own lives. I’m not angry at them just a littler irked that as usual I’m the one having to make the effort. I won’t go into much detail on all that as to be honest I’m still trying to structure my thoughts from the primal urge which screams “I care about your problems but I know that’s not the real reason you’ve not bothered with us”…I need to structure that and think on it before I even bother digging the hole. But with more social I’ve been looking into local roleplay groups, organising cinema trips for me and the odd friends I’ve not seen in ages and for the first time in ages I genuinely want to meet some new people, even if I am terrible at small talk. We’ll see how that goes. Least I’ve got Kim to support me 🙂
Apart from all that nothing much else has happened. My life is pretty dull and things are just moving along slowly. You’ll prob next get an update in September about college and my most probably weight gain 😛