So tomorrow is the first adoption meeting to basically find out all the information, what our options are and the most important thing of can we actually go ahead with all this. It will take years anyways to go through and I’m aware of all that, but will we be shot down before we’ve even began?
I’m in mixed emotions about tomorrow. Excited that we’re taking this first step and nervous that it will all end straight away. That we’ll find we can’t afford the costs, my divorce won’t allow us to adopt. My previous mental health issues will limit us even further. I’ve googled but typically can find nothing to cover these questions.
The question comes up though of what happens if we can’t adopt for whatever reason. Then what? Do we try to find away to get back to clomid, iui and ivf? Something that I didn’t want to do or do I accept our future as a family of 2? I sort of don’t want to accept that though. It’s not really fair and I’ll just spend my life knowing what’s missing. There will be such a gap in my life and I don’t think anything else could fill it.
All I can do is wait until tomorrow though and hope that it’s all good news. Hope that there is an option for us. 10am tomorrow we’ll find out I guess.