Well haven’t posted in a while as got stressed and well tired of complaining. AF showed after 7 days of spotting. Not the odd 1 or 2 days like she has done in the past but 7 days spotting and 2 days later than expected. Thanks for that body. But anyways with the unexpected news of the royals and their new sprog due I figured I’d give people and insight into how envy plays a part in my little TTC life. They did something about it on the TV a few weeks back but it was this attention whore of a celebrity and so no-one really paid attention. This post will be about why I react the way I do to some people’s news and not the same to others.
When it comes to others getting pregnant (Which they seem to do with the greatest of ease) how I react will be based on my own little judgement scheme. It’s not the most logical but for some reason it always happens. I’ll start at the top:
1- The ones who get the ok from me. These will be people who have been trying for a long while for their first. They are the ones who I will happily keep up with the beta’s and the scan photos and the worries and excitements of pregnancy. In my world I guess they deserve what they have been given. I honestly feel happy when they announce their BFP’s. It reminds me that anything is possible and gives me hope in the darkest times.
2 – People who will get a Gz from me but I will pang with jealousy when I first see the news. These are people who are having their first or those who had trouble trying to get the second, people who I don’t really know. Who have jobs and are in stable relationships. I guess Kate and Will fall under this category. I have my jealous moment but like everyone else I’m sort of happy for them. This also includes an ex-collegue who just announced her pregnancy and who I found myself pondering over being happy for and wasn’t sure why this was different to the other 4 I had been exposed to in 1 day.
3 – People who are on their 2nd+ with no trouble. Now that’s not really fair is it? Why do they get more than 1? Where’s my 1? This includes 3 of the people who announced on Facebook recently. They don’t get likes on their posts and I’ve blocked their news feeds for the next 6 months as quite simply I don’t want to hear it all. Yes good for them and all but really? Could you not have waited a year or so. Could fate not have come my way and maybe said “well since you’ve waited so patiently, it’s now your turn, they can wait.”? Oh well….
4 – People on their 2nd+ who have the relationship problems. You know the kind. Soandso is now single, Soandso is now in a relationship, Soandso says it’s complicated. So you’re telling me that you got pregnant by accident (Well it’s not going to involve trying if you’re not together for longer than a week) and you can’t even hold together a relationship with that person. Are you fucking stupid or something???? Now this isn’t a dig at single parents at all. Must be tough for them. This is a dig at the ones who don’t even know what basic contraception is. This was the 5th announcement on my Facebook. She has since been removed out of anger.
5 – Scum. This is the final layer of jealousy. A lot of people from the 4th layer actually fall into this layer. This is the no jobs on either side/ kids from 6 different parents / no morales type scum. Or chavs. Yeah chavs covers it much better. I honestly don’t care if they’re carrying the saviour of the universe. They’re scum and should have had an IQ test before they were allowed to breed. If they failed it they should have been sterilised. Like rats, all of them.
As you can see the envy is made of layers of judgement. Uninformed judgement in most cases but it’s what works for me. If people don’t like the way I react then they can happily inform me on where I’m wrong on their lives. I guess it’s why I’m so open on mine. So that when the judgement comes from others (Which it will) I can stand there and understand their reactions without question.
Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait’s gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet