9dpo…5 days to go… Same as last time it seems but this time I’m prepared. This time I’ve had my CD21 bloods taken. If CD1 shows then I’ll have more bloods taken and that means I’m ready for my initial appointment at the clinic. This cycle was my last ditch focus all effort cycle and I’m trying in a strange way not to be hopeful. There was nothing wrong with me for the last week. No symptoms at all. Yesterday it all changed though. I’m trying to ignore it all. I don’t want to be disappointed this cycle.
On this day last year I was at the hospital being told I’d lost my little bean. I spent the day at home alone with a bottle of martini crying at things randomly. It sucked. On Thursday this week we lost the 2nd of the hammies Oegle. She was old and worn and I’m going to miss her dearly. I don’t know if I can think about getting a new hammie at the moment. I’m hoping kharma will help me this cycle to make up for the things that have happened but I don’t know if kharma even exists at the moment. A girl I know has just announced she is pregnant with her 2nd. After the 1st and the constant split ups with her boyfriend it was quite a shock to see she had got pregnant so quickly afterwards. It just doesn’t seem right…
I sort of wish there was a waiting line for things like this. Take your ticket and someone will be with you shortly. I’m not too keen on this ryanair type of system where everyone fights to the front and only the ones who have no idea of how things work get their first whilst the people who deserve to be seated first suffer at the back for an unknown period of time until someone notices and helps. Wierd analogy I know but it sort of makes sense in my world.
I hope this week goes quickly. We’ll see in 5 days.