So it seems people may have read my first entry. *waves frantically* Hi everyone!!!
Yes I know I said 3 days for me to play Mass effect 3 but I’m sort of that absent minded and easily distracted I thought what the hell, lets annoy the Internet again.
Vincent Brooks – “Fucking blocks… I’m gonna climb the shit outta you!”
Now the game Catherine I figured I’d start with. The line above is one I actually found myself uttering on numerous occasions. Usually after falling to my death for the 46th time or after being sliced up by a baby with chainsaws. This game follows the normal Japanese tradition of being full of “what the fuck is that!?!” moments but not to the extent of some of the tentacle movies I may have been shown by my younger and slight disturbing sister. You play as this guy called Vincent who at the start you sort of hate. He’s a bit of a bitch, he’s clearly lazy and he spends every night in a bar. Like who does that, really? really…really….really…Sorry got into a miz moment there. Anyways Vincent. He’s dating the highly strung Katherine. Katherine is your current girlfriend and love of your life who seems to be obsessed with her career until one day when it’s suddenly marriage,family and kids and wtf, who is this woman? Anyways you’ve been having freaky dreams where you’re climbing blocks and in a nutshell your normal worries that she causes (bitch) become your worst nightmares. This isn’t helped at all by a sudden arrival of tiny skirted Catherine (trust me the names get confusing as hell at points. I had to rely on the sounds they make on the phone to know which one I was texting) who seduces you with her legs and big eyes and other girly attributes. Shes a slut ok. Trust me. Whole point of the game, climb the blocks and survive what happens.
Simple right? hahahahahahahahaha…no…
As said I died 46 times on a level. Just as you think you’ve maneuvered your way through it and you’re celebrating like it’s 1699, something will move wrong or a sheep will axe you to the head and baaaaaa you’re dead, and dead again, and again and again. But don’t get me wrong you’re not going to be throwing the controls at the TV. I’m a rage gamer as anyone who knows me will tell but this game instead of making me want to kill my firstborn, it instead challenged me to keep going because I knew once I was past that level it was done and I had for the first time ever accomplished something. It’s fucking awesome in simple.
Only downer with it is probably the length of it and re playability. Once you’ve completed it twice for both endings you sort of don’t pick it up again. Would be nice to have some more bring back with it but for a puzzle game its awesome. Buy it! Buy it now!!!Go on, what are you reading this for!!! Get out and buy it! What? You already own it? Go play it then for fucks sake! I’m not that interesting!!!
So enough of games. Events in my life….Um….Weekend in 3 hours and 8 minutes – Not that I’m counting or anything. Steak and blowjob day came (lol) and went…And that’s really it. Not alot happens in 1 day. So yes I promise I won’t spam you until I’ve completed Mass Effect 3!